I can't quite place it. You know the feeling you get when your lacrimal caruncle slips into the nether world of unfathomable anguish and calls up the pizza delivery guy by mistake on an industrial blender? It was sorta like that. Only less purple and confrontational. She merely wanted to know if we sold rubber ducks. I told her I didn’t give two mucks about no rubber ducks, and I barely have the sanity to know how to dress myself in the morning. To be clear, the way I see it is not the...

Hitherto it was formerly explained inasmuch as could be perceived how the western wallaby waxed its whiskers. It was clearly described by John as a descending boulder from the pearly gates in the heavens where monkeys hold giant strawberries that sing high-pitched operatic notes. Martha disagreed. For as long as her whale blubber simmered on the stove, she just couldn’t shake the feeling that she was being watched by evil ostrich overlords via the wall-mounted surveillance cameras. Thank...